Fear of Asking for Money
The Fear of Asking for Money
People are often hesitant, if not afraid, to talk about money. Never mind ask for it. In fact, I’ve met fundraiser’s who are afraid to ask for money. Yes. Fundraising in their job title and still avoid it as much as possible.
It’s no different for ministers and leadership in a church. Many are not only afraid to ask, but also to even talk about money and giving in the church. This has been the case for decades in my experience working with most churches and ministers.
We talk about being grateful and good stewards, but not a lot about giving, and even less about the blessings of being a faithful giver.
This is really about mindset and our own beliefs about money. The bible teaches extensively about money. Our attitude towards it, how we should manage it and much, much, more.
Money is mentioned thousands of times in the bible.
Why People Are Afraid to Ask for Money
Much of this research has been done in the areas of sales and wages. But it turns out, a lot of the same reasons still apply.
- Fear that you don’t deserve the money – I am not worthy
This is probably the single biggest factor that holds people back from asking for money. In business, they make reference to imposter syndrome, or not believing in oneself and the value of your abilities. New entrepreneurs often don’t ask enough for their services in the early stages of their business because they are not confident of their worth.
In non-profits, this relates more to your level of belief in the cause or mission than it does to your own abilities. Although, it can still be relevant for individuals in fundraising roles as well.
In churches, this relates more to the belief that giving is part of gratitude and living out the values of a Christian life. As Christians, we are called to give out of gratitude as stewards of all that God has given us.
But that’s easier said than done isn’t it.
One of my favourite stories in the New Testament is about the young wealthy man who cannot forsake his riches to be a follower of Christ’s. Told in 3 gospels, everyone knows this iconic encounter,
Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
This is precisely what many of us do today. We lower our faces, move on, and we don’t talk about it. Most of us know we need to give…not all of us want to or do…and even fewer of us tithe when we do give. People who tithe to the church are rapidly diminishing.
Educating and helping people come to a point of understanding when it comes to the biblical principles of money is another topic of discussion and it’s about more than just giving.
How to Ask with Confidence
Believe in what you are asking for
You must believe that what you are asking for is important. If you don’t…that’s when it just becomes a job. According to Joan Garry, you need to remind yourself before you ask, that your love of the organization, or the church, is greater than your fear of asking.
Believe you are offering people an opportunity to be a part of something special…something big…something important.
This is about changing your mindset about money and asking for money. It is about understanding that people want to give money away…for lots of reasons. And they do it all the time.
Every appeal you make should be positioned as an opportunity to do something great. To bring a broken home into wholeness again. To help a lonely young person believe their life is worth living because God loves them. To provide a warm meal to the homeless. A night of refuge for victims of violence and persecution.
What do you do that is worth asking for? If you cannot answer that question, maybe you need to re-focus your vision and purpose.
Whatever you do in your ministry you have to believe that people just like you want to make a difference in someone’s life and bring the love of Jesus to the broken through your ministry.
How to prepare before asking
Make sure people are clear on the need and the project before you ask. You must have good information readily available about the project or initiative you are asking for. This means having a good plan and sharing it.
Brainstorm with your team and come up with the most likely objections and questions people are going to have. Then talk about those answers. Have your answers ready to go. And remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. You won’t ever be able to anticipate everyone’s questions. But there will certainly be common themes.
If you are talking to people one-on-one…know who you are talking to and what sort of giving history they have, with you and others if possible.
What impact will their gift have?
This is crucial. What is their gift going to accomplish? I touched on this earlier and I will say it again here, you need to be able to answer some fundamental questions before you ask for a gift. People want to make a difference. Be able to show and tell them how their gift will make that difference.
This is important whether you are appealing to a larger group or to an individual. You still need to answer the question, “What is my donation going to do?”
Narrative budgeting in churches became popular about a decade ago, but I think the pretty coloured pie charts can be taken a step further. I say put a face to the budget. Talk about the person that was helped. The people are the inspiration for giving. The people are the story.
Tell the story of how your donor or donors can change the world…even if it’s just for one person.
Change Your Mindset…Change Your Ministry
The fear of asking for money is something a lot of ministers have to deal with at some point. However, once you learn to move through this fear, your ministry will be forever changed. Assuming that is, that you recognize being involved in money matters in your church, including fundraising, are part of your responsibility.
In fact, as your ministry grows you will look back upon this time and wonder why you were ever afraid of asking for money and gifts of gratitude to begin with.
What if you knew that sermon on money management would save someone’s marriage? Would you do it then?
Let’s say someone in your congregation is hiding a lot of debt from their spouse. What if that sermon series on how God wants us to manage our debt and finances brings that person to a place where they confess their debt and it starts a healing process in that marriage? Would it make you feel more confident knowing that going in?
Talking about money from a biblical perspective is not just about giving to the church. It’s about so much more, and more than ever, money issues are at the root of a lot of problems in our society.
Fear has no place in God’s House
In Biblical terms, fear is the Devil’s greatest weapon. Fear is paralyzing and that’s exactly what he wants to do to you and your ministry.
Part of being successful in church finances means believing in the value you provide as a church through your mission and being confident in the way that you teach and talk about money as a biblical principle of discipleship.
The most important thing you need to ask yourself before preaching on money, giving and gratitude – do you believe in your mission, our God, more than your fear?
If you do…then it means asking for what you believe in even if you’re afraid.
According to Seth Rosen, your victory is in the ask…you can’t control the response after that.
So just ask…and let God worry about what happens after that.
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